Hope

Many people are scared of hoping. Truly hoping for the best, actually seems irrational at the face of it. Because any result less than what you hoped for seems like a disappointment and is not properly appreciated, and if you get what you hoped for, you cannot get the joy of surprise and an experience 'beyond expectation'.

Some people don't even get excited during pregnancy. Some will always say they failed a test after writing it, just in case they did. Some have a life philosophy to 'expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised. I was like this too.

It seems this mentality is actually driven by fear. A fear of disappointment. A safety mechanism to avoid us getting hurt. A worry that we 'wont be able to handle' the disappointment. 

Not only does this fear driven way to live not appeal to me, as well as being baseless in many cases (what are you truly afraid of? Is it okay to be sad for a little when something doesn't go as well as hoped? Isn't that seemingly what you'd expect the normal and healthy reaction to be?) but living without hope seems lacking to me too.

But God does disappointment suck. Constantly reminded in the moments that you expected your life to change that it didn't. Not mention if you had multiple disappointments in quick succession. It seems you are constantly jabbed in every direction, every time you look at your phone, or have a conversation with a friend, a new reminder of what never was. It's heartbreaking and demotivating and overall just sad. 

I don't wonder why people avoid getting their hopes up, I wonder how people can keep getting their hopes up time and time again.